I lose my temper with my children and regret it every night. How do I change?
Begin here: regret is the beginning of change, not proof of failure. A parent who never regretted would have far more to fear. The Prophet ﷺ redefined strength for us: “The strong is not the one who overcomes people by wrestling; the strong is the one who controls himself when angry.”
He ﷺ also gave anger a practical, physical treatment. Seek refuge in Allah from Shaytan (say A‘udhu billahi min ash-shaytan ir-rajim). If you are standing, sit; if sitting, lie down. Make wudu. And go quiet — words spoken in the first fire are the ones we spend years apologizing for. Most parental anger also has honest triggers: exhaustion, hunger, being unheard. Naming your trigger is half of disarming it.
Finally, repair quickly and visibly. Going to your child afterwards — “I was wrong to shout; please forgive me” — does not weaken you. It teaches them the two hardest lessons in Islam: honesty about oneself, and the courage to mend what we broke.
“The strong is the one who controls himself in anger.” (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim); on seeking refuge in Allah and changing posture when angry (Reported by Abu Dawud)